Saturday, August 09, 2008

Some home truths

Parenting is a different experience for most of us, but I can safely list a few definites that expectant parents can anticipate:

You will need family. I am sure some people manage without their parents/relatives' help, but geez, it must be tough. I can honestly say I could never have managed without the help of family. Friends help, but family is essential.

You will have a Groundhog Day moment. Mine came a few weeks in when I woke up one Saturday morning and realised that every single day of my life was exactly the same as the last one. Weekends were no longer weekends. Every day was the same. Of course, as kids get older, that changes. But three years on, I can't kick back on the couch with a bag of chips and watch videos all day, have a lie-in, go see a movie just because I need a day off.

You will cry. If any new-ish Mum has never cried at any stage, I'd like to shake their hand and give them some kind of parade. Whether it's the sheer frustration of trying to get a baby to sleep, the sheer isolation of suddenly being home alone all day with a child or the sheer fear of having a sick child and not knowing what to do, you will cry.

You will spend (a lot) less time with your partner. Of course, if you are Princess Mary or Angelina Jolie, you'll just drop baby into the arms of one of your nannies and head out for a movie/film premiere/whatever with your beloved. In the real world, some days you can barely have a decent conversation with your partner. It's tough, especially for a couple like us who were used to doing absolutely EVERYTHING together.

You will question your identity. I am not saying that you will become a different person, but more that you will wonder who the hell you are some days.

It's hard work. It's physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting.

You will be busy. I used to think I lived a full, busy life. Think you're too busy now? You just wait until you take jobs, family, friends, hobbies and everything your life is now and add...mmm... a person who needs 100 per cent attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Now I look back and wonder what on EARTH I did with my time before Ari.

BUT ....

You will laugh uncontrollably. Like the other day when Ari and I were strolling through the airport and he caught sight of Oprah Winfrey on a TV screen. He said "that's Oprah! Nanny likes Oprah. And Judge Judy". The sound of a three-year-old talking about Judge Judy cracked me up.

Your heart will soar. And not just in that "wow, look at my newborn baby" way. But in a continuing, every-single-day kind of way. Like every time I catch a glimpse of Rob looking lovingly at his son. Or every single time he smiles at me. Or when I watch him make people happy, like his grandparents or auntie. It's golden moment after golden moment, people.

You will have new respect for all parents. If you were one of those people who quietly dissed parents for all sorts of things before you were a parent (hands up me), then you are in for a rude shock. I personally am in awe of anyone who has more than one child.

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