Hey, great coat

The gamut of emotions

Why do we have children?
In my darkest hours of struggling with the shock of motherhood, I've sometimes wondered it myself.
There are lots of reasons, of course, and everyone is different.
For me, having a child is possibly the only life experience that can throw every kind of emotion at you - turned up to 10.

Joy - Kicking the winning goal on the siren in the Grand Final against Collingwood might be utterly orgasmic. But the first minutes after your child is born would have to top it, I'd reckon. It sounds glib to say it, but Ari's birth WAS the happiest moment of my entire life and I don't think anything could top it.
Shock - I will NEVER forget the midwife throwing on the lights in my hospital room at 2am to wake me up for Ari's first night time feed. Bleary-eyed, I was shocked beyond words. This was it...I was a mother.
Love - Ari's smile. His little hands hugging my neck. The way he looks at me that I know is only for me. It's amazing.
Sorrow - A World Vision ad suddenly makes you feel ill. Reading about a child's death makes you sob over your paper. Articles about people bashing little children make you so angry. The world is a different place and it suddenly can hurt you deeply.
Frustration - Ever tried to change a pooey nappy when the baby is thrashing around on his change table, speading poo everywhere (including all over himself)? Some days you just want to pull your hair out. Ever tried to get a toddler dressed and out of the house in a hurry? Good luck!
Pride - Ari smiles and waves at an old lady in the street. She stops and coos over his cute little face. She's grinning from ear to ear and so are you. Children are so pure of heart and I am so very proud Ari is such a loving little boy.
Anxiety - Am I doing this right? What is that rash on his face? Why won't he eat his dinner? Is he warm enough in his bed? This list never ends...
Loneliness - You used to work in an office with hundreds of people Monday to Friday, 9-5. Now it's just you and a little person who can't talk back for the first 2 years, in a house 7 days a week. It only hit me recently that I'd spent 16 months almost entirely on my own.

Charm School

Lauren sometimes calls Ari "Charm School", because (and yes, we're being biased here) he is utterly charming.
He smiles and waves at every person he passes. When other people smile back, he just loves it. When they don't, he seems a bit perplexed.
We took him to a restaurant a couple of weeks ago and he spent his entire meal smiling at the waiters and waitresses as they passed him. By the time it was time to go, he had them giving him kisses goodbye and pinching his cheeks.
Sometimes when you are carrying him around, he will lean around into your face and grin at you, just to get a grin back.
Today at the park a Greek lady said to me "I like Ari because he always a smiling boy!"
And he is. We are really lucky.

Ari profile update

Name: Ari Murdoch Danaher-Flavell
Age: 16 months
Hair: Ginger, but getting blonder
Eyes: Hazel
Favourite food: Tomato and zucchini risotto, chicken, bolognaise, banana.
Hobbies: Taking things out of stuff and putting them in something else. Sweeping the floor, climbing on stuff.
Likes: Dancing to his Play School CD (particularly the Hokey Pokey), books, sticks, ripping grass out of the ground, watching other kids play, cuddles.
Dislikes: The vacuum cleaner (still!), having his nappy changed or getting dressed.
Current fashion trend: Cords, Converse sneakers, Kathmandu thermals and hand-knitted jumpers.
Favourite book: Fish, Alphabet, Dear Zoo, Peepo, MR Brown Can Moo.
Number of teeth: Lots
Can say: Mama, Dadda, Nana, yummy, yucky, meow.

Why I hate celebrity mummies

An opinion piece in the Herald Sun on the curse of the celebrity yummy mummy has got me thinking.
I personally think the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna have got a lot to answer for.
They paint a picture of motherhood as some sort of blissful coffee break from the rigours of making movies, attending red carpet openings and generally looking fabulous.
Any wonder first time mums (like me) have the reality of motherhood hit them like a freight train and wonder - why didn't anyone tell me?
I don't want to bleat on too much about this, but it's hard for a lot of women of my generation to take on motherhood.
I'm part of a generation who was told at every step of my life I could achieve the same as the boys. Motherhood was not promoted as something to inspire to - we were told to make sure we had a successful career and financial independence.
And then you become a mother and realise that the job itself (apart from a few modern luxuries for which we are eternally grateful) hasn't changed all that much since our mothers' generation.
Babies are still waking in the night, the days are a blur of feeding and changing, bottles and formula, sterilising and washing.
Oh yes, we DO have the piles and piles of baby books telling us what our babies SHOULD be doing, just to make us that more anxious.
We have gone from career women to stay at home mums in a giant thud.

Best Baby Buys

A pregnant colleague at work recently asked me for a few tips on baby products and I obliged with a list of my favourite brands - and a few hits and misses. I'm not saying this list will suit everyone, but this is what we've found has worked best for us. For more opinions, check out the forums at www.essentialbaby.com.au - I quizzed other mums there on almost every major purchase.


Nappies - Huggies, hands down. I've tried Safeway's home brand and they are nowhere near as good. I also use Bebe's nappy inserts for nights.
Nappy wipes - Curash. Huggies were too "wet" (if that makes any sense) and left Ari's bum all red and sore.
Cot - Ikea. It even converts to a first bed. Very practical and not that expensive.
High chair - Ikea Antilop. Easy to clean and use.
Clothing - Bonds, Safeway Little Wishes romper suits, Red Robin socks, Converse sneakers, Kathmandu thermals and Ticklish cords have all been proven favourites. Home knits are also a big winner.
Pram - Adventure Buggy Company three-wheeler and a Maclaren Quest stroller.
Toys - Peter Rabbit box of boxes (a set of different sized cardboard boxes that fit inside each other) and a Little Tikes walker have been two fantastic toys.
Bottles - Avent bottles and microwave steriliser. Pigeon peristaltic teats (Ari spat the Avent ones back at us!).
Dummy - Tommee Tippee animal faces dummies.
Sippy cup - Tommee Tippee
Bowls, spoons - Tommee Tippee and Take n' Toss.
Bedding - Grobags and Living Textiles sleeping bags, Onkaparinga wool duvet.

Other hits:
Maclaren baby rocking chair with massager. We took this EVERYWHERE and Ari loved it. We fed him in it, rocked him to sleep in it. An absolute winner.

And misses:
Baby bath. So not worth buying. Ari grew out of it in no time. Use the big bath unless bub finds it scary.
Bassinet. Yes, they're pretty, but see above.

Coat Crisis Resolved

After a fruitless local search, local tot Ari Danaher-Flavell was saved from the winter chill by a benefactor from across the globe.
Ari, 15 months, was sent a stylish and practical raincoat by website editor, marathon runner and beer-bather Mike Bruce.
Bruce kindly mailed the blue H&M coat from his home in Prague, where the globetrotting Kiwi currently resides with his betrothed, Sylvia.
"Pretty", was Ari's only comment when presented with his new duds.

A proud moment

Ari's love of music has Rob and I both surprised and proud. We can't believe how lucky we are to be lovers of music and have a child who gets so much pleasure from all kinds of music. He bops around, claps his hands, swings his head, does little dances. He even bops his head, waves his arms and claps his hands in his high chair.
Our proudest moment was on the weekend when we made a quick dash to the supermarket. AC/DC's Highway to Hell came on the radio and I jokingly announced "Now, listen Ari, this is one of the most important riffs EVER in rock music." We both looked around to see Ari bopping his head to the song. What a moment. This kid has great taste.
Earlier that day he'd clapped his hands to a Neil Young song from the Greendale album. Now all he needs to do is sing along to a Tom Waits song and his Daddy will have conniptions.