New house

We are flat out house hunting at the moment and it seems what we want just isn't out there.
We don't think we're asking too much, but it seems our list of criteria is too picky.
Our new rental house must have:

• 3BRs
• Be somewhere in Northcote, Thornbury, Carlton, Clifton Hill, Coburg, Fitzroy, Fitzroy North or Abbotsford.
• Have a little backyard.
• Have a shed/garage/somewhere to park a car.
• Not be $500 a week to rent.
• Have built-in robes.
• Not be a dump.
• Be close to public transport.
  

We didn't think this would be that hard, but it seems we've once again set ourselves the Impossible Dream.
The hardest part of all this is that we know we're leaving behind a fantastic house.
We've lived in our lovely Collingwood terrace for nearly 4 years and it's been such a wonderful place.
In this house Rob and I have gotten married, had our son, danced drunkenly with friends and basically lived some of the best years of our lives. It has THE best kitchen in the history of the world. Our lounge has a floor to ceiling window with the best and biggest tree in Collingwood outside.
We can walk 5 minutes to a train or tram, 10 minutes to a supermarket, 10 minutes to Brunswick St, 10 minutes to the river and Dight's Falls. All our favourite pubs are within a 15 minute walk. So is our beloved hairdresser Adrian and all the hospitals we could possibly want.
Our local shopping strip is Smith St and along with having some fantastic shops (Ari is dressed almost exclusively by TSL), the street is so wonderfully strange and its inhabitants even stranger. Where else could you amble down and encounter prostitutes, drunks, drug addicts, dealers, trendy rock chicks, old ladies, buskers, mums wheeling prams and hip young blokes all in the one place?
I swear I would have gone INSANE if I didn't live here while Ari was a little baby - I can't imagine wheeling a pram around some sort of outer-suburban wasteland of blandness (and I know what that is - I've lived in North Balwyn).
In the early days when I was feeling mighty low, little things like a browse through Kinki Gerlinki, or a piece of hedgehog from the lovely milk bar in Gold St would give me a lift.
I know people in my neighbourhood. I can ring another mum and be down having coffee with them 10 minutes later. I often take Ari to a tiny grassed park on our corner where we watch the world go by and the friendly postie stops for a chat. One of our best friends lives a street away. My sister is only a 10 minute drive from here.
But of course, this place has its drawbacks. It has no shed/garage. It only has 2BRs and we suddenly need 3. Junkies shoot up in our alley. We've lived with it all this time, but it's never a nice feeling when you hear them doing it only metres from where you're standing. Even worse, they leave their syringes everywhere, the bastards.
Our neighbour's dog barks like fury. Our new neighbours over the back have kept us awake with several LOUD parties (we're pretty tolerant, but we're talking house-shakin' loud here).
So if anyone out there knows of a house - please let us know! Otherwise, the search continues...